Last year was my first holiday season alone after losing my boyfriend Joe, with whom I had lived with for eight years. I knew that the holidays were not going to be easy. Thanksgiving was the hardest for me. Maybe, because it was the first holiday I had to go through. My salvation was the tremendous support of my friends. Without them I could not have done it. I made sure I was with people who I cared about (and who cared for me).
I think that it is important not spend the holiday season alone. I believe that it is important to force yourself to be with people. As hurtful as it may seem at the time, I look at it as part of the healing process. I also feel that your loved one would want you to celebrate life and continue to live it. It is important not to feel guilt.
Don’t wait to be invited. Make the initiative if you haven’t been asked yet.
Sometimes friends and family think that you may not want to do anything, or that you have been invited somewhere else. I found that being around my friend’s the key ingredient in getting through the holiday season.
Lynn Ross, NY, lost her boyfriend Joseph Lamotta, 49, on Swissair Flight 111, September 2, 1998
